FT Magazine in China / follow up article about Baby Donuts aka Bella's Adoption

July 25, 2014

Adopting an abandoned Chinese baby: a family’s experience

By Patti Waldmeir

In 2010, Patti Waldmeir found a seriously ill newborn in a Shanghai alley. Since then the story has turned from communist tragedy to Christian fairy tale:

As stories go, the tale of how a desperately ill, nameless baby from China turned into Bella Xin KaLare Strickland of West Monroe, Louisiana, is an extraordinary one. Three short years ago, a friend and I found the newborn, swaddled in several layers of clothing and abandoned in a Shanghai alleyway. Since then, her story has morphed from communist tragedy to Christian fairy tale: one minute an orphan screaming in a cold, dark street; three years later a stroppy toddler, living a charmed life in sunny Louisiana. Baby Bella made her debut in this magazine in 2011, under a different name, “Baby Donuts”, given for the Dunkin’ Donuts outlet where her birth parents chose to leave her in December 2010. She was about six weeks old. More than 110,000 children born in China have been adopted by families overseas in the past two decades. But Bella has the dubious distinction of being the only Chinese baby yet abandoned at the feet of an FT journalist.

A friend and I found her one night, only steps from one of Shanghai’s top hotels. She was lying on top of two plastic bags that bulged with new baby clothes, tins of infant formula, packs of newborn nappies/diapers and scrubbed-clean baby bottles: the only love note a mother could dare to leave, for a child she would never know.

The fact that her parents chose to leave her at a place frequented by foreigners may mean they wanted her to end up living overseas. Or maybe they didn’t. Maybe they wanted a healthy baby, if they were only going to have one child. (China has since slightly relaxed its one-child policy but babies are still being abandoned.) Bella has a number of disabilities, including a congenital heart defect, blindness in both eyes from cataracts and a partially webbed foot. Perhaps her parents simply couldn’t cope.

In lots of ways, theirs was an entirely rational decision: in China, many families have only minimal health insurance, and the cost of all the surgery Baby Donuts needed (along with the bribes paid to doctors) could have bankrupted even a family of substantial means. Abandoning her meant that she would become a ward of the state, which would at least pay to keep her alive. China says it has about 700,000 “orphans” (meaning children whose parents can’t care for them). About 100,000 live in state institutions but most of the rest collect a government subsidy.

Baby Donuts (aka Bella), shortly after she was found

What seems less rational is why Jeremy and LaKasha Strickland, living on a shoestring in a town 12,000km away, felt able, not to mention willing, to do for Baby Donuts what her birth family could not. Even their US adoption agency, through which they first heard about Bella, warned them off, saying the baby had “too many red flags”. When they started the adoption process in July 2012, the couple had just $100 in savings. Jeremy had been medically retired from the US Air Force for chronic headaches and LaKasha had left her job to become a stay at home mom and become more involved with her church. Adopting a child with serious medical needs wasn’t the obvious next move.

But the Stricklands are clear about why they did it: among other things, because God wanted them to. “God put adoption in our hearts,” LaKasha says. “God stirred our hearts and we started searching.” And they didn’t just make a decision, they mounted a crusade. It can cost upwards of $30,000 to adopt a special needs child from China, including paperwork, translations and travel costs. Raising such a child, even in the promised land of Obamacare, will doubtless cost considerably more (in spite of Jeremy’s excellent medical insurance as an ex-serviceman).

Undeterred, the Stricklands launched a “Bring Baby Bella to America” campaign in October 2012, enlisting family, friends, members of their church and even the Bible to fundraise. They set up a tent in the parking lot of the local Walmart to sell T-shirts emblazoned with these words from James 1:27: “Pure and lasting religion in the sight of God our Father is to care for orphans in their troubles.” 

They sold 260 plates of “chicken cheesy spaghetti” at a church lunch, raising $2,500. They even stood at traffic lights with a bucket and a poster of Bella, collecting dollar bill.

It can cost $30,000 to adopt a special needs child from China. The couple had just $100 of savings

LaKasha says she was shocked when Jeremy came up with the idea of panhandling to raise money for Bella. But their experience at the traffic lights yielded both cash and encouragement, as she shares on her blog “Adoption from God’s Pocket”. “It was so hard at first, feeling silly and prideful,” she writes. “But after a little wait a few cars started pulling in and asking about her and putting dollars in our bucket. We got to share about her and about God’s love and plan for her life,” she says, adding: “This was ministry!! He has given us a way to talk to strangers about Him and what He has done and will continue to do. There’s nothing easier to talk about than a child in need.”

And then there was the miracle of the $3,110 bank deposit: the Stricklands have never figured out exactly where it came from, but they do know that $3,110 was exactly what they needed to pay for the “home study” by social workers, which is a prerequisite of any adoption from China, among agency fees. And there was the friend who borrowed $4,000 to help them, and the bank employee who cleared the way, unexpectedly, for the Stricklands to refinance their home.

While they raised money, Bella was still living at the Shanghai orphanage under the name Jiang Xinqian. The Strickland s decided that her American name was to be Bella KaLare (pronounced “Claire”). “I talked to God a lot that day about if we were making the right choice,” LaKasha writes on her blog. “He showed me that her name meant beauty and clarity and I knew he was happy with it: beauty with her imperfections, and clarity within her mind without delays.” Later on the Stricklands added “Xin” to honour her Chinese roots.

Bella became a member of the family long before she got to Louisiana. On her second birthday (which she spent in the orphanage), the Stricklands posed for a family portrait, each clutching a donut, to symbolise their bond with the baby. Their Christmas photo that year shows LaKasha, Jeremy, their son Peyton and a framed portrait of Bella. LaKasha even dyed her hair black before they flew to Shanghai, so that Bella would not be too shocked at her appearance (in China nearly everyone’s hair is jet black, including septuagenarians).

Bella today

Of course, any parent who adopts from China has to demonstrate great commitment. The process is lengthy, costly and – when the vast majority of Chinese children available for adoption are disabled – requires a level of selflessness not many of us can muster. Mainlanders mostly refuse to adopt disabled children, and even overseas it is hard to find enough parents for the children who need them. Many non-Chinese who adopt special needs babies have strong religious beliefs and see these children as being especially worthy of Christian charity.
In spite of limited financial means, stretched further by repeated adoptions, they remortgage homes, sell chicken cheesy spaghetti, T-shirts – anything to make the adoption happen.

I adopted my own two (healthy) Chinese daughters as infants in 2000 and 2002 using the money I had saved during a lifetime of working. But whether we beg, borrow or finance our adoptions from our trust fund, most adoptive parents go through the same agonising moment when an orphanage nanny hands us our child – and they shriek in outrage. Bella, then two-and-a-half years old, went one better: she tried to escape. The abject misery in her face at the handover to the Stricklands in May 2013 is captured in a video LaKasha posted on YouTube entitled “Gotcha Day/Bella Xin KaLare.” The fairy-tale ending got off to a very rough start.

But by the time I joined the family 48 hours later, Bella had already begun to blossom. I remembered a beautiful newborn in a blanket: what I saw two years later was a determined, winsome and mischievous toddler, tripping off on her little spindly legs – which looked like they hadn’t much experience of the world of walking – to explore her surroundings.

I remembered a beautiful newborn: what I saw was a determined, winsome toddler

LaKasha, Jeremy and Peyton were all besotted with her already, pointing out the cataracts in her eyes and the webbing of her toes like other parents might brag about dimples, and inviting me to feel the prow-like protrusion of her ribcage left after her heart defect had its initial repair. And what about the prominent bruise in the middle of one cheek? “The orphanage said they weren’t sure how that happened,” says LaKasha. Orphanage staff had told the Stricklands that Bella was “very strong-willed” – perhaps heartening for an adoptive parent to hear, since strong will may be just what got her through that night in the alleyway, and the many illnesses of her infanthood.

Later we took Bella to the Dunkin’ Donuts where our story began, in the company of my friend John Fearon, the British businessman who first heard her abandoned cries. Not surprisingly, she couldn’t have cared less (especially since the donut shop had closed). But we adults all spent a moment feeling the tragic miracle that is every Chinese adoption – and the pain of birth parents who cannot keep their child – before we set off to McDonald’s to feed Bella her first all-American French fries.

Bella is now “settling in beautifully” to her new life. “She is constantly competing with her brother. If he talks she talks louder. She is so smart: she loves to count and sing and say her prayers all by herself,” LaKasha says, adding that the night terrors of Bella’s first months at home are beginning to abate: “She has a lot of anger in that little body.”
Jeremy and LaKasha both hope Bella’s birth parents may one day read these words, and know they can find their baby living happily in Louisiana. But unless and until they do, no one need worry about Baby Donuts.
She’s just where she needs to be. Hallelujah.

Patti Waldmeir is the FT’s Shanghai correspondent. With additional reporting by Zhang Yan 

Patti Waldmeir

Shanghai correspondent

Financial Times

August 14, 2014 Bella's left eye surgery

Hospital at 7 am in pj's waiting ....in hand her favorite new companion and friend "paca"!! story behind that....Chris in our youth was loving enough to think of her while in Peru a few weeks ago on a mission trip. I think she is always in his heart. It is the softest think you would ever touch, a bear made from alpaca fur. She loves snuggling with it every time she gets tried.
                                                                    Bella and BABA

They finally called us back and brought Bella some yummy "happy juice" the nurse called it and I think this was to make her feel like she really didn't mind what they did or where they were taking her off too. Everything was funny to her and slowwwww....

I brought along a music box that my mother bought for "my future daughter" long time ago, even before Peyton was born. It a sleeping baby in a pink bunny suit inside a real baby shoe. It plays a lullaby and we brought it last summer with us for her first eye surgery. She had never seen it at the time and seemed to love it. She would kiss it over and over and mother seemed to be pleased that it came from her and it was a hit. It was hard for me to be there all over again repeating what we had done together such a short time ago and now she was gone and couldn't be there . But she really always is there.... I brought it for Bella and for mother. Bella asks every time I go into her room for me to take it off her shelf so she can give "baby" a kiss, so she was excited to see me pull it out after she was given her meds so it could play music for her. It's special!

Not long before they came to take her and we all moved out into the full family waiting room. It always feels like forever when your baby is out if your reach. We are so happy we are able to have a repair surgery available but  it's almost like holding your breath because someone else is doing it. TRUST GOD!!! TRUST GOD!!

We are anxiously waiting on the word that they are done almost 2 hrs in!!!

They FINALLY came out and called for us and the DR came to tell us all he did and that all went as he would have hoped! We could see her after they got her a little woken up!

We went back and before I saw which bed she was in I could hear her crying. I could not speak fast enough for her to hear my voice and know that her family was near again and she would be just fine. The sense regained to her that she had not been left is so important and overwhelming.

She stopped crying right then and put her tiny arm around my neck and said " I love you mommy"! My heart was full and my eye filled with tears because I loved her but now she loved me back! Last go around I could not comfort her and she didn't seek that from me, she did not love me yet and that was hard. We have came such a long long way in a year and I am thankful and blessed.

ANOTHER EYE SURGERY!!!!

This was a very big week planned out for us and I was surprisingly nervous about it. We registered Peyton for fourth grade Monday, where he will have not one teacher but FIVE. Oh my!! We went for “starting school” dentist apt and home to pack for four days in Shreveport.
We left by 10am on Tuesday bc Bella’s per-op was at 1pm and we made the drive well.

 
Waiting forever like always at his office and grabbed a late lunch (mexican and chocalte ic cream of coure) and off to check into Barksdale for the rest of the week.

 

 

The kids loved it bc it feels like an apartment away from home. After unpacking and getting settled in..... we played.

 

 

The next day we planned a fun day for Bella and brother before big bad hospital day! We went to the Sci-Port in Shreveportand it was great!

 

We went to a I MAX movie “under the sea” props to shark week and watch a planetarium show on the consolations.

And the biggie was Peyton getting to take an antonym class on bull sharks. Super cool for my science lover!

Bella just loved running around touching everything!

After four hours we were whipped and ready to go get settled and wait for Daddy to get in town.

God always has a way to using all (even the bad) to his glory!!!! At Bella's Eye specialists apt Friday we found out that Bella is now blind in her other eye. We had surgery shortly after being home with Bella last July after finding out that she was completely blind in her right eye. She did have a damaging cataract in the left eye but it was very small and the Dr didn't expect it to grow quickly. We knew that he wouldn't do the surgery until it had grow to a complete size that would block her sight and that could be years. NOPE!!! 11 months later it is now complete grow and she is now blind in that eye. The good part of this is that it has force her to only be able to see with the weak eye that was repair when we came home and now she is seeing great out of it. So as I try to wrap my brain around and prepare for another in six weeks I ask that you pray that my mother continues to stay stable and that I am not needed in two places at once!!! Oh Lord I pray!!! We will be sale ing the rest of the shirts left from Bella adoption fundraiser for up coming surgery. We will not be make a new order but we have many shirt in selected sizes. Thank you all for your love , prayers, and support.

Celebration / Bella s dedication back to the Lord that gave her to us!

TO YOU OH LORD I GIVE YOU BACK WHAT YOU HAVE GIVEN ME!!!!

 

Bella was sent to us by nothing less that miracle over miracle over miracle ....  and the way from start to finish was supernatural! If you question the idea of that then maybe you should go back to the every beginning post of this blog?

Sunday November 3rd is National Orphan Sunday and what other perfect Sunday morning that this to bring her before the Lord to say in action " Lord our Savior you called us! You sent us! Now we have brought her back to be yours! Strengthen us to teach her your love and laws and use her to your will and bless her each day for the reasons you lives her life for. Precious! 

Our children's God parents were there to vow in guidance of Christ in her life along with family.....

Granny Pat and Aunt Christy (behind the camera)

Friends came out to help us praise and never will a forget our church family that fills that room and stood strong behind us on our long road home.

Celebration/ Bella s birthday party

Bella turns 3!!!! OCT 28th

What a wonderful weekend of celebrating Bella in our lives!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 

Party November 3, 2013

Big Brother and Bella!

 MOM AND DAD

 PAPAW & MAMAW PASTY

 FRIENDS

 LOOKS LIKE THEY ARE READY FOR CAKE!

BELLA AND RUTHIE

What an honor to have a surprise guest show up! Reanna and her mom Shan. They are from KY and "just happened" God placed them close to us on this very weekend! They were only less than 2 hours drive from us visiting her so at college and surprised us. Shan adopted her daughter a few years earlier from the same orphanage as Bella in Shanghai. She had heard about Bella's story long before we did and had been constantly praying for her and her parents. How special for us both to share Bella's first birthday at her forever home.

I got to see Bella s personality in a few years from now! LOL

So special, adoptee momma s that only can know each others journey and our shanghai sweeties!

Bella's Eye Defect .....Coloboma!

Coloboma is an eye abnormality that occurs before birth. Colobomas are missing pieces of tissue in structures that form the eye. 

Colobomas affecting the iris, which result in a "keyhole" appearance of the pupil, generally do not lead to vision loss.

People with coloboma may also have other eye abnormalities, including clouding of the lens of the eye (cataract), increased pressure inside the eye (glaucoma) that can damage the optic nerve, vision problems such as nearsightedness (myopia), involuntary back-and-forth eye movements (nystagmus), or separation of the retina from the back of the eye (retinal detachment).

Some individuals have coloboma as part of a syndrome that affects other organs and tissues in the body. These forms of the condition are described as syndromic. 

Coloboma occurs in approximately 1 in 10,000 people.

Coloboma arises from abnormal development of the eye. During the second month of development before birth, a seam called the optic fissure (also known as the choroidal fissure or embryonic fissure) closes to form the structures of the eye. When the optic fissure does not close completely, the result is a coloboma. The location of the coloboma depends on the part of the optic fissure that failed to close.

Coloboma may be caused by changes in many genes involved in the early development of the eye, most of which have not been identified. The condition may also result from a chromosomal abnormality affecting one or more genes.

You can see in this photo an example of Coloboma best seen in light colored eyes. This shows you an eye with coloboma compared to a normal eye.

Bella's eyes have coloboma in both eyes and in this next photo it is am example that will show where they are in her eyes, they run the opposite directions towards her nose.  This is not her eye.

Genes that can be affected: And need to be tested for.....

The GDF3 gene is known to be involved in bone and cartilage development

 GDF6 protein is necessary for the formation of bones and joints in the limbs, skull, spine, chest, and ribs. The protein is involved in setting up boundaries between bones during skeletal development.

The OTX2 gene plays a critical role in the development of the eyes and related structures, such as the nerves that carry visual information from the eyes to the brain (optic nerves). 

During embryonic development, the PAX6 protein is thought to activate genes involved in the formation of the eyes, brain and spinal cord (central nervous system), and the pancreas.

SHH gene, Sonic Hedgehog plays a role in cell growth, cell specialization, and the normal shaping (patterning) of the body.

The MAF gene and VSX2 gene are the last two but are very complex in description.

They want to determine that she does or does not have :

WAGR syndrome is a rare genetic syndrome in which affected children are predisposed to develop Wilms tumour (a tumour of the kidneys), Aniridia (absence of the coloured part of the eye, the iris), Genitourinary anomalies, and mental Retardation. The G is sometimes instead given as "gonadoblastoma," since the genitourinary anomalies are tumours of the gonads (testes or ovaries).

WAGR syndrome is caused by a mutation on chromosome 11 in the 11p13 region.Specifically, several genes in this area are deleted, including the PAX6 ocular development gene and the Wilms' tumour gene (WT1). Abnormalities in WT1 may also cause genitourinary anomalies. Mutations in the PAX6 gene have recently been shown to not only cause ocular abnormalities, but also problems in the brain and pancreas.

Children with WAGR syndrome receive regular (3-4 monthly) kidney surveillance for Wilm's tumour until at least the age of 6–8 years and thereafter remain under some follow-up because of the risk of late onset nephropathy (40% of patients over the age of 12 years). Females with WAGR syndrome may have streak ovaries, which can increase their risk for gonadoblastoma. Malformations of the vagina and/or uterus may also be present.

We will  be going to have her genealogical DNA testing done as soon as we can get in as a new patient.