We are finally "that family" the family that holds a child's photo within their family photo! For some funny reason it feels like we deserve to finally be at this place. Like we had sacrificed just enough and paid in just enough, cried just enough, shared her story just enough and believed just enough to get to this place. For so long I wondered just how families felt? Now I know! They are not families waiting for their lives to change, they are changed families! They hold the child's photo in their family new Christmas pictures because they are already apart of that family. They are collecting thing they will need and making a place already for them in their home, they call her daughter and children already. They say you and your sister instead of just you. Everything is ready and all lives are already changed, no more waiting but for HER.
It feels so real and so right! So real that someday I cry as Christmas grows near, just not having her here to be apart. I feel a missing piece. Peyton is so sweet about all of it and feels his mamma's heart hurts, only seven year old but last night he yells from his bed room, out of no where, "Mom Bella hit me!!! " I laughed and asked him what he said again as I walked out of the kitchen. He laughed back and said " I just wondered what it would sound like" "I know what you are going to say to mom, "Don't tell on your baby sister"! I smiled and said jokingly "yes your right, we can't get on to her until she is at least four!" lol
Then this morning we were getting ready to go to the children's Christmas play at church and (Peyton was one of the wise men) as I was fixing breakfast I had another little heart break thinking about her being a little angle with a sliver shiny halo. I tried to quickly brush my tears away and Peyton came up to get a big hug from me at the sink. I turned to him to get a really good one because I needed it so and he held his arm out a little further out down by his hip and looked up at me and said "See mom I'm not sad because Bella is already here with us." Oh he fills my heart back up and even though I'm not sure he realizes that he is helping me but his pretending really does. It reminds me to not be sad, she is already a part of our family and that will never change no matter how many more days we have to be apart! He is an inspiration and encourage-er already! Well to all that read......
Merry CHRISTmas from the Strickland Family now....
Jeremy, LaKasha, Peyton & Bella Xin KaLare
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