He Opened the Door!

We always wanted a big family…well medium. Three or four children would do. We have tried to have another child since Peyton was three but through my sickness through out the past few years we were sure. Last year I had a explore surgery done and find out there is nothing physically there to stop us from having another child and so through my own journey of not conceiving I had to look to the Lord. I am sure it will not take you long to sense that I go to the Lord for everything, I love Christ with all my heart. I knew that he wasn’t partial, he creates life. I just needed to get to the same page with him about how our family would be completed. So since we knew we wanted to adopt “one day” the Lord really started speaking to me and preparing my heart. Could this really happen? I started looking on rainbow kids website that I had seen on TV and Jeremy and I knew that we would love to help a child that no one really wanted. We had talked about it for years so I knew his heart and that understanding that not many people would take a chance on a child with “problems”. So just looking, we came across a 6 yr old little girl from Bulgaria that had a bone defect and we contacted her adoption agency.

Sasha

We were so curious about the process, the costs and could this ever be a reality for us. They shared her medical file and we learned that there wasn’t any way that we could care for her like she needed. She would be in a wheel chair her whole life and would never walk. We were sad and a little discouraged. God continued to encourage my heart for ministry and his plans for my life but I didn’t share it with anyone.  This is June 2012 and a few days later I had to get ready for kids camp. I help with a children’s rodeo bible camp each summer and I am on the prayer team for the kids. That second night the speaker was praying and she stop and said “God had been calling someone to a life of ministry but they had not told anyone about it and he needed them to answer that call in their life because it was things he had planned”. I knew it was this moment! I got up RAN to the front and threw my hands up and said Lord I want the life you want for me. (See that last piece, that 25% left that we clutch onto out of fear that we will miss out on what we think will make us happy, you have to let go of it!!!!) I knew as I drove home that our lives were fixing to change and I hoped my husband was ready for it!

The next day I was contacted by the agency asking us if we would be willing to look at there special needs children’s waiting list. They knew it had not worked out for us with this one little girl but they represented almost 30 other children that were waiting on a family. We accepted and took it as the Lord leading us. We knew that we wanted to adopt a little girl but that’s all we knew. We didn’t know where she would be in this world, how old or what her needs would be and we left that all up to him. They sent us a link and password to view the children and the very first picture was this beautiful little girl that had big eyes and perfect little lips, she took my breath a little and stopped me! I was thinking that I could not just stop at the first one that was crazy. I had to look through all the children, oh but how in the world do parents do this? How do they know which child is the right one?  So, overwhelmed I continued to look through all the children but continued to go back to her. It was late that night so I left Jeremy a note to look through them the next day when I was at camp and asked him to write down the ones that he thought we should request more information on. I remember hoping that she would be on his list. I got in late that night and hurried over to the desk to see which he had written down and there it was three little names and id numbers. She was the first.

I requested the three girls’ files so we would have something to compare and trying not to feel as though we were choosing on our own. That next night we sat down to read through all the information and receive the photos of all of them. We read over hers first so careful to very detail and we were so connected to her, we did look over the other two sweet girls information and admired them but went straight back to the first. I think we just knew that this was the one to take to the next step. (Whatever that would be?) I called the agency and told her our interests in her and from the start she advised me to let her find a better fit for us, that she had so many “red flags” it probably wouldn’t be a good choice. I was a little shocked and it made me feel as though something was trying to keep us from her. She finally said that it was our choice and she would give us the weekend to decide. We only had the weekend to make this choice if were going to send a deposit (this would give us 10 days for a medical review and to accept her referral or not) This was a hard weekend. See, I wish I could tell you that we have a lot of money but that’s just not the case. Jeremy works as a customer service consultant in sales at the truck company and I stay at home most of the time. Being the best I can to our son. We have quality not quantity I suppose. We are blessed with a home and are blessed to always have enough money to meet all our needs but as far as having the funds to pay for an adoption we didn’t. We just continued to go back and forth about how we would be able to pay for this and that was when our faith had to rise! When I spoke to the first nurse from our pediatrics clinic she tried to talk me out of it all together. She said that it was crazy for us to do this and she didn’t know if she was going to share it with our doctor. Here again someone else trying to whole us back from her. It rose a fire inside of me that I can’t even explain. I went to see the dr. that next day through his office manager and talked to him about her, her apologized and quickly accepted her to care for and helped me with a plan of care. Then all started to fall into place. We called and talked to the lady at the agency after the consult of her medical file with a specialist and we heard all the worse case scenarios but we still wanted her. From that day we hit the ground running!! We had 10 days to get all our paper work done and a medical plan in place for her and send it off for per-approval. NERVE RACKING! Got it turned in and ONLY 9 days later we had word back from China that we were approved!! Amazing! So from that day on we knew this was Gods plan. ONLY 16 DAYS from the night I gave it all over to The Lord we had been chosen to be this precious little girl’s parents. We knew we had been chosen by God not China!  We have a daughter waiting!