To Understand

The Lord woke me up this morning at 4am saying, "LaKasha........ you wanted to know!"
"Know what Lord"?, I asked. "What my heart feels!"

Yesterday, Jeremy and I talked about seeing God and feeling his heart in this moment and I guess I thought it would be different? In all the raw emotions I didn't see or feel God. There wasn't peace and comfort and stillness and quiet, like his presence.

He said, " You wanted to know my heart, you have asked many times and I give you the experience of what I am to my children, each and everyone. I come to save them from a place that they do not know it not good for them to be. I prepared for a long time and plan to the tee. Already loving them as they grow. And then in the right moment I come for them. I come bring gifts to lay before them but they do not notice them for they will not even look their eyes towards me. I come with my whole heart and so much love. I want to but I can only hold on just so long before I have to turn loose just as you did. I have to be acceptance in their time and so I stay there waiting. As my heart break for this child of mind that I want but nothing more ..... All I can do is love, provide for, comfort from a distance. I smile upon. I can admire the beauty about them and how wonderful made they are. I have all the hopes and dreams for the best I have planned for them but until they turn on their own and come to me, I can still only wait. 
 This is the the most beautiful part of Love. The time never runs out, I never stop waiting and loving, I never get tried or change my mind because it's just been to long. Each of my children are made uniquely and are chosen. Not one single child can replace another in my heart.

So I have given you what you seek, I have sent you to be for her what I am for all. So BE!"

I am unworthy to receive understanding but I praise him for giving it to me. I truly see his heart today and it's pain and the most overwhelming love you can imagine for us  all , the imperfect but wanted.